Not tsundere | Hopeless about any Affection, Love between Anya and Damian (Spy x Family) Warnings:

a)It contains many Spoilers.

b) Never trust easily the Wiki articles about this or any fandom. Understanding the incidents, events, and motives behind any action requires seeing and reading the series. Why? See below.

Not tsundere | The fandom of Spy x Family is buzzing with excitement over the possibility of an Anya x Damian romance. I used to believe in romance. It’s easy to see why: Cause it’s the outcome of the known fairytale of Cinderella, the commoner girl, one day finds love on the face of a prince. So it’s exciting at the notion of these young kids from opposite worlds, with the weight of their families and expectations pressing down on them, working to navigate the uneasy waters of Eden College.

Is the whole setup for a classic romance realistic? Is it something Anya should even want?

Why did the WISE director assume it so easy that any kid could become a buddy of this boy? Because it was the only option, in such a short time.Making this operation to get the secret scheme of this Politician.

Not tsundere | Damian Desmond: Arrogance and Cruelty Being Born from Privilege.

Damian’s attitude is not a romantic defense, but a survival mechanism stemming from his privilege. Born and raised in an environment where a person’s worth is measured only by big name, achievements, and social status, his toughness towards Anya is not a game, but the only language he knows to speak to protect his fragile self-image.

Even before stepping into Eden College, Damian clearly feels like the center of the universe and demands that the lower people be his humble acolytes. His father’s shadow looms large, shaping his every interaction and decision. Damian’s arrogance is more than a personal trait—it’s a survival mechanism in a world where his family’s name is everything.

Chapter 8:

His constant dismissal and disdain for many of his peers, especially Anya, highlight a deep-seated sense of superiority that stems from his upbringing.

Anya is established as a weird contrast, the child of “commoners” in a big lake full of children of wealthy and prestigious: Officially her father is a “psychiatrist at Berlint Hospital”, and her mother is a clerk at Berlint City Hall. She has to keep secret the real professions of both her father “Loid”, aka secret agent of WISE Twilight, and of her surrogate mother Yor, aka “Thorn Princess”, the best professional assassin in the whole of Ostania, employed by the Secret organization “Garden”.

Spoilers follow. A need to understand how badly all started between them, on the orientation day at Eden College.

“What do your parents do? Depending on how important they are, I could let you be my friend.” “Papa is a mind doctor”.

“Hmpf, that’s not special. I bet you’re poor too.”

And the situation kept going bad: Anya, despite smiling around, confirmed she’s higher than petty mentality- got her the intense anger of Damian and the high appreciation by Becky Blackblell. ‘You’re more mature than I thought. I see you in a new light”.

Insult upon insult by him made her punch him. She could get expelled, but Housemaster Henderson loosened the demerit, bending it to a Tonitrus. Her first ever.

Her eventual attempts to tear-filled apology to him have failed(:

Anya’s attempts to befriend him, as usual, derive from the desire to boost her father’s mission, which feels like a Sisyphean task *1—one she’s dutifully shouldered despite Damian’s either silent or obvious contempt.

“Shut up and give me the paper”.

See below the Sisyphean task.

Below: Chapter 37 of how he shuns the other kids, classmates:

Rain of Tonitrus: A Case of Urgent Help, and Selfishness

Below Chapter 61: Her kind move of lending her handkerchief to Damian, saving him from a Tonitrus to ensure Plan B. But she didn’t have a reserve, thus resulting in her second Tonitrus. Talk about self-sacrifice for a high-priority mission: Saving the fragile peace between the West and the East. Watch how confident she is, having assumed she can make it nice and clean.

She saved him from a Tonitrus by taking one she didn’t deserve. Read him well, without the stupid notions “he has a crush on her”,“ he’s a tsundere”, etc. As we see his intense rage on Anya: What’s not apparent isn’t her move, but the selfish boy’s discrimination about where he’ll find a hand of help. His squinting, angry glare is one of his traits. “I can’t tell you how it sickens me to be indebted to the likes of you”, he says to her. His body Language: The half-closed eyes and intense glare do not indicate secret love, but class superiority. His phrase “it sickens me to be indebted by the likes of you ” shows that he sees Anya as a parasite. The Concept of Indebtedness: For Desmond, owing a favor is a weakness. His “rage” stems from Anya destroying the image of the “all-powerful” he is trying to maintain.
Selfish Privilege: Anya’s help hurts his ego more than Tonitrus itself.

Anya’s everyday struggle to connect with him is both painful and telling. For her, working to win his friendship isn’t only about achieving her father’s goals—it’s about navigating the complex social hierarchies of a world so different from the one she had known. But let’s accept it: Damian isn’t a “tsundere” waiting to be melted by Anya’s kindness. His disdain is real, and it’s a carved belief in his DNA that being a Desmond is an inherent privilege that sets him above others. Is it really fair to expect 5-year-old Anya to unlock the closed, stone-cold heart of an utterly Arrogant, Belligerent kid?

The Hijacked Buses Arc

I disagree with fans who call her “not smart”. Due to the rough treatment at the hands of the mysterious organization, she developed a resentment towards studying. In a way yet to be revealed, these scientists could not have anticipated her actions; she devised an effective plan and escaped from their facilities. It’s an indication of her possessing a decent level of street smarts.

Even a great gift, such as mind-reading, demands a degree of sharpness. The moment she read Vadim’s mind about his decision to bomb the school bus when the SSS Commandos would storm it, she knew she had to buy time to save her classmates, and the commandos as well. Surprisingly, against all odds, she managed to persuade the leader of the Red Circus to abandon their agenda and surrender to the authorities.

Thanks to her quick, profound thinking, everyone emerged from the crisis unscathed. So it seemed everything would come for her: Combined with his debt to her, her handkerchief, and the crisis solution: having achieved friendship(on good, solid foundations) with Damian and his trusted acolytes, Euen and Emil. So saving the peace.

But sadly, the good momentum lasted only a short time.

In chapter 88, “Elite Tea Cakes,” observe him. He’s about to puke because of a warm touch of hers.

Once he gave her the Elit Tea Cakes, he reverted to his known selfishness, carnivorous mode.

The DEE trio quickly reverted to their usual arrogance, hostility, and insults, branding Anya as “stupid,” a “poor kid who can’t find enough food to eat.”3*

Below is Chapter 92: His open joy about her upcoming disastrous exam results:

Below Chapter 95: Where he viciously rejects her invitation to dance along, at the School’s Gala:

Chapter 96.5 Just study how much she’s appalled by their cruel insults. Mostly from Damian:

Poor Anya, probably she was about to yell at them: “I saved your lives during the Hijacked Buses Crisis, and now you trash call me?!”

In such moments, is exposed just how deep Damian’s arrogance runs. Unmovable.

“But why the Hijacked Buses Arc potentially could’ve helped out Anya’s efforts?”, you would ask me to know. Because they were in the grasp of the Red Circus. The menacing guns of the extremists reminded them that wealth, high social position, and the prestige of families made them desirable assets for these gunmen. Being as humble as possible, without bragging, in this dire time, was the one thing that could save them from any harm. And she put her quick, profound mentality to save them, without a scratch. Namely, as the ancient narration of Damocles’s Sword *2:Below: The harsh reminder of the narration(Spy x Family chapter 72):

The Slim Potential for Anya’s Freedom

What if the key to her freedom isn’t winning Damian’s favor, but uncovering by another source the sinister plans of his father, Donovan Desmond? Yes, in an unexpected twist that would be far more satisfying than a forced friendship, finding the crucial documents to decipher Donovan’s schemes would free her. She wouldn’t be burdened anymore to navigate Damian’s disdainful world. Thus, focusing on her true mission: Protecting her family and maintaining the fragile peace between the East and West.

If I could say something to Damian, it would be this:

“If you think she’s stupid, just how would you have effectively talked to the leader of the Red Circus, Billy Squire, and solved the crisis?”

Anya’s actions during the hostage situation prove she has strength and wisdom far beyond what the trio DEE(an acronym for Damian, Emil, Euen) gives her credit for. Their inability to see that only underscores how blinded they are by their own privilege and arrogance.

The Self-deception of People Hyped for the Romance:

By the way, they claim:

a)“Damian is capable of self-sacrifice to the detriment of his interests. A rare exception is when he protects Anya from a ball in a dodgeball game, willingly getting himself eliminated. Though it did not help their class win the game, Anya recognized Damian’s good nature”. And b)“He showed bravery and selflessness when he tried to save Anya, demanding that the terrorists hang a bomb on him instead of her”.

However, a cold examination of his so-called selflessness reveals something ugly:

a)In chapter 15, during the dodgeball, his insights are quite clear:

“ I don’t have time to waste on shrimps like her. I have to get MVP in this game so I can score a star. I need to become an Imperial Scholar like my brother did. Otherwise, Dad won’t pay any mind to me at all”. That’s the explanation of why he took the hit. The ambition to make it, on the other hand, if Anya failed he could assert control over her or even seek validation from his peers and his father. By “saving” her in a public setting, he subtly reasserts his dominance over her—positioning himself as the protector and keeping her indebted. It’s not about kindness but about reinforcing a power dynamic.

Anya is tired and disappointed with her failure to make a strong hit. So she needed a compassionate gesture, such as how Becky came to give her. If say, he’s supposedly kind, why in the world does he angrily shout to her, in his carnivorous mode: “What the heck sort of crap throw was that? I sacrificed myself for nothing!” “You really are mean,” Anya.

What is weird is how Becky has never questioned Anya on why she persists in cozying up to Damian despite all his constant insults.

b)“Another rare moment was in their classroom when a girl from their class was spreading a rude rumor about how Anya got her first Stella Star, Damian stood up for her, recognizing Anya’s merit”. Wrong. All he stood up for was the high status of the school he and his brother attended.

c))“He showed bravery and selflessness when he tried to save Anya, demanding that the terrorists hang a bomb on him instead of her”.Wrong again. His true, ulterior motives are his envy of her public stance and living up to his family’s expectations. In his point, he was scared, so he asked for the bomb for the sake of saving face, “he’s never intimidated by anyone, including a Red Circus extremist”.

Not tsundere | Conclusion: A Romance That Wasn’t Meant to Be?

As fans continue to root for an Anya x Damian romance, it’s crucial to consider the deeper implications of such a relationship. Damian’s arrogance, cruelty, and elitism have been born from his father’s influence, highlighting the fundamental incompatibility between them. Certainly, rather than striving for his friendship, Anya’s true path lies in uncovering the documented dark secrets of the Desmond family—a tedious task with far-reaching consequences for both her family and the world.

Do you really think there’s hope for Anya and Damian, or is their relationship doomed to remain adversarial? And what does Donovan’s philosophy say about the future of the world—and the potential for love and peace in this fractured world? Let’s discuss the future of Westalis and Ostania in the comments!

*1: In Greek mythology, the story of Sisyphus is a well-known tale of eternal struggle. Sisyphus was condemned, for his crimes, by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back down each time he neared the summit. This endless cycle of futile effort has since given rise to the term “Sisyphean task,” Namely any pointless, fruitless, and unrewarding task that must be repeated repeatedly; an endless task. 

*2 The Tale of the Sword of Damocles. A harrowing reminder of the dangers of power and imminent destruction. It refers to the Greek legend about King Dionysius I of Syracuse and his courtier, Damocles, a person we would refer to today as a brown-noser.

The King had grown weary of Damocles’ constant flattery. When Damocles referred to the king as “the happiest of men,” Dionysius decided to teach him a lesson. He invited him to a banquet and ordered him to sit in the same place for the event. Over the chair was hung a sword held by a single hair. In this way, the king demonstrated to him just how precarious the position of a king, who, although he had access to many luxuries and pleasant distractions, always lived under the shadow of a horrid death. 4,5.